Recently my husband asked me if I remembered when I first had a studio. He could not place when I really began this creative journey and neither could I. Delving into the past we stumbled around in the dark for a while.
Celebrating the past 39 years
Considering we just celebrated thirty-nine years of marriage, the stumbling is not especially surprising. In spite of the effort, a look at the past is valuable in that it can give us a new perspective. I tend to be quite negative about my accomplishments and what I feel I have yet to do. It has been quite a ride.
Constructing an easel
In the beginning I was very determined to be what I was told was a waste of time. I remember constructing an easel for myself shortly after I left my family of origin. I found giving myself permission to paint was an entirely different and more difficult task. The past can be a prison.
Painting the past
Once I met and married the love of my life, he encouraged me to re-enter the creative world. So I stepped into a few workshops and was told I ought to be teaching them rather than taking them. Gaining more confidence, I allowed a small corner table in a bedroom where I was more concerned about soiling the linens and the floor than about painting. Here I produced a vignette of my husband’s past and gave it to him as a present.
Photo (Empty Dreams/le vainqueur)
More teaching than painting
We moved to a different community in which I allowed myself a day off per week from running a household and taking care of our four children. In this place I took on a space, an old classroom in which I could paint and teach. I entered a few competitions with some of my past paintings and won some prizes. My creative space, however, remained more of a teaching venue than a studio.
Overwhelming past issues
Past issues overwhelmed me in our next town. Only another small corner in a rented room gave me the space where I could paint a little. I took on a small watercolour commission and taught a few community classes.
Moving past limitations
Ten years into our marriage and in a new province, I moved into the garage. Another ten years brought a rented space where I could paint murals. My own work began to grow from small studies to large canvases as I had discovered big! The past had less of a hold on me and I paid for everything with teaching and commissions. My personal production rate remained one or two paintings per year.
Mastermind
What kicked me into gear was my mastermind whom I met in 2010. They challenged me to move past my wounds and step into professionalism. Seven paintings in seven weeks. Thankfully, I had just stared planning my first series. Seven paintings in six weeks proved not to be impossible. Most of them were large pieces, 40x60”, 56x40”, 30x60” for example. I was flabbergasted. Although my desire had been to be a professional artist, I had never given myself permission to be.
Happy in a garage
I am still in a garage. As a result, I do not pay rent. I have regular hours with a display space and a workspace. My dream come true. Unlike past years, I do give myself permission to be and it is a wonderful place to begin a new year. Happy New Year everyone!
