Overwhelm

Not so long ago overwhelm kept me from focusing on moving forward. There was a time when the fear became so great any simple decision such as what to have for supper became impossible. In that powerless state, should anyone approach, my defense would become violent and verbally abusive. The fullness of life cannot be found in such quarters. At that time I did not know there is another way. Today overwhelm is visiting me again. There are too many appointments, I have said ‘yes’ to too many things, I am way behind on preparations for presentations, I seem stuck in establishing a new painting routine, etc. So what do I do with the fear? What is its base? Allowing myself the time to identify the foundation of my fear is the key to releasing it. It has to do with my survival patterns and some old belief systems. We all have them. The survival patterns tell me I am not safe, a victim who is powerless and the old belief is I will be rejected if I do not perform perfectly so to please everyone. Sigh. Do I want to stay in this spot? No thank you. What can I do? I can choose. There is such freedom in choice. First thing is to take care of me: exercise, deep breathing, meditation, drinking lots of water (warmed up with a little Himalayan salt) and eating a good breakfast. Throw in a few hugs and I am set for the day. Suddenly I have lots of time. Today I am enjoying with much gratitude each moment as it comes. It feels good to be free.