At the moment I am not experiencing much joy. There
is a little stress in the air. Yesterday, my blog day, I was packing, hosting
stray cats and people and meeting several major commitments…. My blog never
came within range of my sonar. Neither did my studio. So why am I stressing?
Yes, I am moving and my life is busy… so? I just read a book about having a
peaceful heart “The Anatomy of Peace” from the Arbinger Society. The book
suggests that I may be suffering from boxitis. One of my favorite boxes is “I must
appear to be….” and the word I usually fill in is ‘competent’. The conclusion I
might draw from that is I feel I have no control and every little error or
moment of forgetfulness may result in a barrage of self-criticism and abuse.
Last night, when I forgot my purse at the event we were attending, I called
myself a couple of names. Sigh. Of course as soon as the anger and resentment
bubbled up I knew I had entered the box. I have a friend who can see it coming
and can sidestep the entrance… One of these days I will be able to do that. In
the meantime I will take some time to forgive myself, love myself, breathe and
let go. I do not have control and that is OK. This is the moment that counts
and it will be pleasant because I choose to notice the beauty in it. Ah, joy!
Thank you for visiting me again.
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